How to Navigate the Workplace When You Have Social Anxiety

Most people experience some stress at work. There may be a lot happening, and results impact an entire company. For someone who has social anxiety, working with people can become a harrowing experience.

For many, human interaction can make work more fulfilling. But if you deal with social anxiety, interactions with management and co-workers can often be stressful events you want to avoid.

It’s possible to make social anxiety more manageable. Read on to learn some tips that may help people with social anxiety and their co-workers have a better workplace experience.

Social anxiety is defined as a “persistent fear of being watched and judged.” It can begin in childhood. And, according to the National Institute for Mental Health, it affects 12.1% of U.S. adults at some point in their lifetime.

People with social anxiety aren’t just shy, they fear being scrutinized or judged. This can create significant challenges at work, where meetings, evaluations, and socialization occur regularly.

In these situations, a person with social anxiety may experience an elevated heart rate, nausea, uncontrollable shaking or sweating, and the inability to form coherent thoughts. They may have a desperate need to avoid situations that make them anxious.

These reactions and feelings affect a person’s ability to communicate with bosses, co-workers, and clients. And it can make it difficult to form professional connections.

Dealing with social anxiety is hard, but coping techniques can help make it easier.

Marriage and family therapist Kristel Roper suggests taking periodic breaks to reset. If possible, find somewhere to be alone.

“Take a short walk outside or sit in your car; just breathe and be present. If this isn’t possible, take a few minutes in the bathroom to decompress.”

Roper also advises using grounding exercises to regulate, including the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 exercise. Find five things you can see, four you can hear, three you can touch, two you can smell, and one you can taste. Breathe and relax your muscles while doing this.

Roper says physically relaxing tells your nervous system that you are safe, reducing the impact of anxiety.

Coping with anxiety is possible, but finding helpful strategies takes time. Erica Cramer, a therapist at Cobb Psychotherapy, says, “Identifying small, behavioral changes that are easy to implement can be a good way to start.”

Cramer suggests setting small goals like initiating conversation with one co-worker each day or making a little eye contact with colleagues as you pass. Over time, these small changes will build. And your resilience will likely increase.

If possible, try reducing time in the office. Career coach Nadia Ibrahim-Taney suggests starting with one day a week and increasing from there.

“If you have to make a RTO (return to office) work, make a plan that looks out for you. Go into the office early to avoid time with those extra-social co-workers.”

Dr. Alejandro Alva from Pacific Neuropsychiatric Specialists also suggests working early while the office is empty.

If there are co-workers you feel comfortable opening up to, use them as a support system. They can offer encouragement, provide a safe space during mandatory social events, and help you advocate for your needs.

Alva says it’s equally important to have this support outside work. Having people who understand your anxiety and can offer support will help you de-stress at home. You can also do physical activity and mindfulness exercises like journaling.

Speaking positively to yourself has many well-documented benefits for coping with anxiety. Mental health counselor Brenda Delmonte suggests offering “yourself kind words when you’re anxious in social situations. For example, ‘I feel nervous right now, but I will do my best.'”

Alexander Burgemeester of The Narcissistic Life suggests pushing yourself to use more positive self-talk.

“Many people with social anxiety talk themselves out of a situation or think negatively about how they contribute to a conversation. Hyping yourself up internally can help.”

These techniques won’t fix social anxiety. But they can make it much easier to deal with, so work isn’t an unpleasant experience.

If a co-worker has social anxiety, they may have their own coping strategies. But colleagues can still support them.

Remember that social anxiety is a legitimate mental health condition that should be accommodated. You can often help by simply being supportive and empathetic to their struggles.

Other ways to help include respecting their boundaries. If they ask to be left alone when wearing headphones, listen. If they request notice before a meeting, don’t drop by to talk to them without warning.

If they seem increasingly stressed, or if other co-workers disrespect their boundaries, intervene. Ask permission to make sure you are advocating in a way they’re comfortable. But if you’ve offered to be a part of their support system, then follow through.